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The following is taken from the famous goblin text "You Talkin' to Me? Goblins
Kicking Butt in the Age of Wimps" by Seeth Tak, a great goblin traveler
and gob of the world.
What Mirg Is Really Like: Mirg is the mysterious goblin kingdom. Mystery
to others, mystery to us. This is because no sane goblin travels through the
jungle, which we call The Big Green. There’s a reason we refer to the jungle
as Her, and don’t you forget it. Be real careful with campfires.
There are some places you can go to get away from Her, and that’s cities
and towns. See below for some places that get you a bed and a drink.
Government Officials:Although we’re are not exactly matriarchal, our
royal family is. After all, with the goblin men messing around like they do,
who can be sure whose child is whose? But everyone knows whose mother is
whose. Therefore a Queen always rules and is expected to produce the royal
progeny. Besides, the royal family produces some really big girls, and nobody
wants to argue with them. The present queen is named Queen Krill, and she’s
hot. She’s also a champion hammer thrower, so don’t mess with her. She's young
and doesn’t have any little ones yet, but with three husbands she’s working
on it. People are starting to talk, though, she should be ballooning by now.
Places to Visit, Or Not:
The Fortress of Krull - Great big city! It’s not walled up because of invading
troops (good luck getting through the jungle). It’s walled up against said
jungle. Sort of an armed truce with the Big Green. The Queen, her husbands,
and her court live here, lots of trading going on. When other races
visit Mirg, this is where they come. Good gaming, drinking, whor-- O.K., you
get the idea.
Church of the
Green Mother/The Maze - If the Fortress walls the jungle off, the Church invites
Her in. More than a little mixing-up of deities. The “Maze” means the hedge
maze that’s grown up around the Church. You’ve got to be invited in to get
through. People have tried without an invitation, but well, you know
the story. Some rumors say that there are actually some gob paladins connected
to the Church. Some people will
believe anything.
Current trade & political status
with other Kingdoms/Cities:
Yecch to the elves!!!
The humans are all right -- ugly though, too bad about their horsey teeth.
Misharr make us sneeze.
Dwarves are a good height, which means shorter than us.
We think the ss’tiss are gods.
Delfae? Good for squashing.
Important Note - Three phrases to remember: The Big Green, The Big Green,
The Big Green. Nobody gets through the jungle if She doesn’t want ‘em to.
Nobody. On the other hand, treat her right, she’ll treat you right -- until
She decides to squash you anyway. Just like a woman, if you know what I mean.
Major Imports and Exports:
Imports -- Who needs other people’s cast-off stuff? We take care ofour own!
But if you can’t think of anything else, send us some weapons. We’re not big
on fire here, so forging is right out.
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Exports -- medicinal (and otherwise) substances, exotic pelts, chiton scales
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(a chiton is a really big beetle whose scales can be made into decent armor),
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exotic pets and birds, gemstones (some good mines hereabout, but if we told
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you where they were we’d have to kill you).
Charming Goblin Customs: Both men and women can legally take multiple
partners, though in reality that’s an awful lot of trouble. They live in large
family groups, and a family group must be willing to support each other.
No such thing as welfare in Mirg, and begging will get you the business end
of a club.
We don’t have an army, we’re independent sorts. We sure kicked some holy
butt in the Big War, though. Don’t mess with us.
Goblin is hard to learn, but lucky for you lots of gobs speak human. Goblin
is complicated because it’s full of tones, clicks and whistles. Other races
tend to spit when they’re first learning goblin, so watch out who you’re talking
to.
We call ourselves gobs, but you’d better not.
Game forums
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(KRULL)
- (DEEG)
-(WILDERNESS)
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